Marriage 101

And the LORD God said,
It is not good that the man should be alone;
I will make him an help meet for him. Genesis 2:18

God makes the statement that it is not good that man be alone. The first truth inherent in this statement is the need people have for companionship. We are all unhappy if we are without friends or family. Close relationships often spring up at work simply because we spend so much time there. We do not choose an employer because there are people there we want for friends; we choose an employer, and then become friends with the people we find there.

But there is a deeper truth here. Look at the companion God provides for Adam – a woman. He does not provide a friend similar to Adam, He provides a companion that is different from Adam. Friends are often chosen because of similarities: they are often the same gender, have the same interests, likes, hobbies, sports, background. A spouse is not chosen for a shared interest in football; they are attractive because of the differences; exciting because of their mystery. The relationship of husband and wife goes deeper than friendship; it becomes companionship.

The first, most basic trait of companionship is that of being present. A married couple should be together. They make contact: physical contact, verbal contact, emotional contact. They are there for each other. The most basic element in a marriage is that this is someone you want to be with, and they want to be with you. Herbert Stein wrote about marriage after his wife’s death, and described the need for companionship, the first most basic element, in marriage.